Lakewood Alliance, a blast from the past (reliving my college years)

 I have a warm place in my heart reserved for the Alliance Church. I spent many Sunday's in the Saskatoon Alliance Church and had many friends during my college years. When I moved to Prince George in 1991 this was one of the Churches I was going to check out, however I promised my uncle Elmer that I would give my Mennonite heritage a chance and went to Westwood first. Westwood won over my heart and at the time it was really focused on children's ministry so it was an obvious choice for a growing family. Now 34 years later I had never dawned the door of the Alliance and I thought it was about time.

On the surface what attracted me to the Church was it's central location. I also appreciated the timber framed entrance way they had completed several years ago. (I am a big lover of large timbers) Due to the circumstances I brought my truck and a 12 foot trailer. I thought I would stick out like a sore thumb but around back they had two pull through stops on the west end of their Church. Here I could hide my messy truck and trailer.

It had the feel of a typical "seeker friendly" Church. What was really nice is that I had a friend who attended the Church and he happened to be walking in the front at the same time as me. He introduced me to his wife and daughter. They were long standing members of the Church. I was greeted at the door by a couple of members who made me feel welcome. I sat at the back and tried to be as inobtrusive as possible. I was extremely impressed with the number of young people and families. I had chosen to go to the early service at 9am and I guess when you have young kids you are up anyway so you might as well just pack up the kids and head to Church. The kids looked very relaxed and many of the younger ones wandered up to the front of the Church and danced while the singing was happening. As with many Churches the songs change all the time so I was not familiar with the music but the choruses were repetitive and simple to follow along. 

It was communion and although it was not exactly clear when I was to partake in the elements I went up to the front and just watched others around me trying to determine what to do and when. The pastor gave a sermon and discussed his vision of growing the Church. He talked about growing to two services and wanting to expand even more. (My personal pet peeve is that we should be using large structures like Churches in the community and they should be full 7 days a week) If the Church does not have its scheduled events then it should be offered to the community at cost or less if it is a deserving group. At this part of Prince George there is no community hall. The last community hall was torn down years ago to make room for a dental office. (but I digress)

All in all this was a highly positive experience. The Church gave you an opportunity to get a new comers welcome package that contained a gift card for Starbucks which was a very nice touch. The materials contained within provided a bit more information about the services available in the organization. The other nice touch, that some people might find obtrusive but I loved was the senior pastor contacted me the next week to touch base and get some feedback and see if I needed any other information about the Church.

The Rainbow Church: The power of Inclusivity

For those following this blog you may have noticed it has been 4 years since my last post. As I reflect on this there are many reasons. The one quote that rings true to answer this question, "The teacher shows up when the student is ready". While I have continued to pursue my spiritual path these past 4 years it has felt more subtle and less dramatic. Maybe I am moving the cornerstones from the quarry to the final building site. 

I have been following the Lutheran's Church's journey over the past several years through several friends of mine. Most of this has been from an outside observer, although I have attended a few services there. I was encouraged to attend the All Saint's service last week to light a candle for Baxter. My friend was speaking so how could I say no to the strong magnetic pull of the Spirit's breath. As it was post COVID, the attendance was small. My friend had not arrived as she was commuting over 2 hours away on icy roads. I was met by two open and communicative women, one of whom I spent the pre-service margins hearing about the Church's journey. She shared with me the story of an indigenous wake that was held in the Church. Initially the family had made the assumption they would use the space in the basement as a place of gathering. When they were invited past the big heavy wooden doors and the energy and light of the Sanctuary filled their soul, they asked if this space was available. When they heard the affirmative answer it was settled, the family and friends who have an invited space to gather in order to send their loved one off to be embraced by the Creator. As she was telling me the story, tears were rolling off my cheeks, as I knew the importance of a saying good-bye ritual. 

The service started and I was struck by the fact that it was all led by women. Now I know in this day and age it should come as no surprise, however in my previous experience this was unique. The other thing I knew to be true is their view on the 2SLGBT+ community. One just has to drive past their building to see the rainbow heart lite up out front and the mural on the side of the building. One of the leaders of the Church has stated that 95% of the Church's in Prince George do not have a welcoming position to the 2SLGBT+ community so they proposed that it was their calling to have the doors open wide. As I previous shared in this blogging thread, the purpose of this blog is to give a positive assessment of each Church community and see how they are living out Christ's teachings. Each Church has their strengths and if one does not feel called to belong to  a certain circle of believers, there are countless other choices to explore.

This service for me was very moving and emotional. I found the teachings to be spot on and personalized to a grieving Church community. If one gives themselves the opportunity to reflect it does not take long to realize that death has cast its shadow on almost every threshold.  Again I do not remember any service that I had previously attended in which the loved ones deaths were the focus on the service, another inclusive perspective this Church offers the community

After the service they served cookies, coffee, and tea. The chocolate chip cookies I might add were out of this world. One of the parishioners' baked Eckles cookies as they heard that this was one of the speakers favourite flavour.  After Church everyone was invited to participate in an experience called explorative journey. On this day participants were asked to engage in a abstract painting process with pouring acrylic paint in a cup and then allowing it to spontaneously spread itself over a canvas. This brought me back to my mystical journey of a book study of the amazing book, "an artist way". The chaplain of the hospital had introduced it to the staff as a way of unblocking everyone's creative potential. (I may have a separate post of this experience)

My journey into Vipassina

All journey's begin with one step ... or so the saying goes. This one was more of a leap of faith after experiencing a spiritual awakening ... aka ... taking a mental rest from work ... My therapist told me in our first session that we were not going to start with therapy. The first step was a juice cleanse and then she recommended a 10 day meditation experience. It wasn't until a few weeks before the course I really looked at the criteria and the small print contained in the orientation package. It is not a retreat ... it is work ... very hard work. You get what you put in. I now tell people it is one of the hardest thing you will ever choose to do.

For me I just knew it was a step in the right direction towards balancing my brain and harmonizing my emotions. It really was a no brainer, until I started putting some cognitive energy towards worrying. "what if I couldn't complete it? What if it is too hard? I don't have the amount of self discipline. I generally start things but rarely finish them."

I did my necessary homework. I met a friend for coffee and she told me what it was like. She was hesitant to give me much information but she did suggest that I should just think of it as a 5 day. At least this is how her experience went. I can do 5 days ... can't I. I then did a one day zen retreat that went well. I packed my bags and headed to the rainbow to overnight so as to break up the travel into 2 days. I had agreed to pick another participant up in okanagen centre, just 2 km from the rainbow. Turns out she knows Roger, my father in law. She was returning for her 3rd 10 day and she was going to be one of the helpers. I questioned her gently about what was helpful for her during our 2 hour commute to the middle of nowhere, 30 km outside of Merritt.

Day 0
I was instructed by my therapist(becca) to not engage in much small talk. I also was told not to listen to any pop radio prior to the start of the retreat. This made sense to me as I recalled days in my youth treeplanting and having music mind worms boring holes into my consciousness. You see you would ride in the vans just before being dropped off and have 10-12 hours alone with your thoughts, but if you listened to a particular catchy song, you had an uninvited hitchhiker with you the whole day. I was careful to heed my therapists advice. Becca also told me to look 4 feet at the ground when walking and 2 feet when eating in order to preserve Nobel silence. You see after the first 2 hours of the course,  you remained totally silent which included no eye contact, or gesturing, or any forms of communication.

Day 1
Did I mention what the routine was? wake up bell or gong in this case was at 04:00 hrs. My roommate jumped out of bed, as if he was being attacked by bed bugs. Ooops remember Brent, maintain Nobel silence. No eye contact, no curiosity about my roommates journey. The idea was that you were supposed to imaging being on a solo journey. I crawled out of bed by the second gong, Becca had also suggested that I should attend all of the optional sits. The first one in the morning you had a choice to complete in your room (roughly translated, sleep in till breakfast at 6:30.) But not me, I was on a mission, "to balance my brain "and give this technique of Vipassina a proper trial. That means I was going to complete the course and training verbatim. I knew in Zen meditation there was many rituals and exercises. I had learned not to ask why, just accept and engage in the practice. With Vipassina there was much less ritual, there were no religious symbols. There was nothing to define it to a region or belief system apart from the teachers accent. He was raised in India, travelled to Burma as a young man, and encouraged to learn the art of Vippassina in Burma where it had been taught uncluttered and unspoiled for 2500 years. In India much of the discipline had been modified and "bastardized" through the blending of other techniques and trainings. I made it through my first 2 hour sit. That being said, I accomplished this by squirming, shifting in my seat, and being down right uncomfortable. I picked up my first knot in my back around T5 on my right side. the knot almost provided me with an audible welcome to your pain in the back meditation, How can I be of service? aka how can I sabatosh. or side track your learning.
We ate a breakfast of oatmeal and nuts and I was introduced to brown sugar. It looked darker than the sugar I was used to, and when I tasted it, there was no sugary taste. I thought my taste buds were just sleeping so I woofed down breaky including a lovely banana and enjoyed my first rest period. Most people engaged in personal grooming but I decided to go for a walk. Did I mention before you are not allowed to bring reading material, journals or any form of outside stimulation. Just be alone with your thoughts. For me, I had no shortage of those, negative thoughts, negative self talk, and self defeating suggestions. It was a whirlwind torrent of negativity without having any of my traditional distracting tools available. I think this was the first time I thought, "I HATE YOU BECCA" I made it through the rest of the day, battling the negative thoughts, the incredible boredom and the aches and pains of sitting over and over. The schedule included sitting or a total of 11 hours a day. Rest period were breaking the sits with exciting activities like brushing your teeth or walking a wooded path filled with mosquitos. (did I mention we had taken a vow not to kill any living being) ... that didn't include mosquitoes did it? After the first day I think I racked up 4 confirmed mosquito kills and one dead ant. The ant was accidental ... sort of ... kind of collateral damage. It was then I had my first self doubt related to my practice ... maybe if I continued to kill living things, this whole meditation wouldn't work. I vowed on day 2, to try harder. The evening ended with a discourse by the teacher who suggested that we shouldn't hate. I didn't think he was referring to my therapist, but I immediately started a hate on for this bearded guru in the front row. He sat on his knees with a meditation bench that looked like it was designed by Gandi himself. It had perfect flow lines and a nice little tapered cushion which sat perfectly on the wooden seat and the guy sat like a statue for the each sit, motionless, upright, back straight ... how the heck does he sit sooo still?

I think this explains in visual format what I want to avoid focusing on in this blog. You see many of us look for excuses of why we don't belong to a particular spiritual community ... or why we choose a particular spiritual community. Maybe we need to recognize that we are just called to community and practice our faith moment by moment ...

A is for Anglican: the journey continues

I have been leaving it open to the universe to see when it makes sense for me to attend another Church. A good friend of mine Lauren dropped by my office the other day and told me that I needed to meet the new priest at the Anglican Church, she thought we had a lot in common. Anyone who really knows me might be curious about this statement as was I. Instead of overthinking the question I decided that this would be my next experience, so I agreed to attend Church the next Sunday.

I woke up that Sunday very curious but a bit jumbled in my head. I did some self-reflecting and realized that I had not done my walk in about 10 days due to the fact I had just taught an intensive course at UNBC on trauma the last week and did my normal Saturday 12 hour shift the day before. I decided that the walk was the first thing on my agenda. On my journey I was able to organize many of the jumbled thoughts running around in my head. I did spend a few minutes reflecting on the Anglican tradition. I have a good friend (that I don't get to see often) who has recently left the Anglican priesthood. I have not had the opportunity to discuss this situation with him personally, although I have read some of his personal reflections on his Facebook. One of the struggles that he mentioned is the diverse demands that are placed on a priest in today`s world. You have to be the caretaker and fixer upper of the church, a counsellor, a baker, a butcher and a candlestick maker .... I know I am just being a bit silly, but you get the picture.

I arrived at the Church and tried to open the big wooden door ... locked.  Hmmm that is strange. There was a side door with the church office sign, so I went in that door instead. I walked into a large community hall like space with several grey hairs mulling around. I guess I should watch my words since I know I have lots of gray hairs these days but my thinking is, if you don't own a mirror and look in it maybe it won't be true. (same thought as if I tree falls in a forest ...) I later reflected on this fact with my friend and asked her what would happen when all the gray hair's go to the "spirit in the sky"? She excitedly told me that she believes that we are on the cusp of a resurgence where people will realize how shallow the new age belief system is, and desire the structure that a traditional Church provides. I find this passion odd since if you know anything about my friend Lauren a traditionalist she is not ... but that is her story to share not mine. I did ask her to provide me with feedback and this is what she shared with me: 

"I see people malnourished from the New Age movement, and I believe we will see a resurgence in traditional religions of all kinds. The New Age movement is like a college survey course—a shallow overview of spirituality and religion—with a self-centering around middle-class, European people of privilege picking what they find comfortable from an international smorgasbord of spirituality.

As we become more experienced in the world, or if we have the experience of being “other” (indiginous, empoverished, traumatized, feminist, on so on), we look for a faith that includes everyone. We have a spiritual hunger that spills out of our own narrow personal boundaries, a hunger that looks not only to feed the self, but to care for our communities. We turn from only meeting individual spiritual need in isolation to looking to commit to a community with its beauty and perils.

The Anglican, United, Presbyterian and Lutheran churches in northern BC are unique in having a deep grounding in tradition while finding a balanced post-modern liberalism. This next decade in the “mainline”churches is an exciting one. We are negotiating new ways of being church. We want to include our beloved traditional elders and at the same time, find ways of being inclusive to everyone who comes in the doors." (now you know why I just quoted her and didn't try to paraphrase her)

I remember a friend telling me about their visit to a traditional Liturgy church where you can get stressed figuring out whether to stand or sit and which book to read and when, and what parts to skip and which verses of the hymn you sing and such. Fortunately I had a guide although I must admit I laughed out loud when even she got mixed up at several parts during the service.

I reflected on this highly structured service and asked myself what purpose does it serve You see within my Protestant background their service appears to be much more spontaneous and flowing. I think back to many discussions that I had with my friend Neil when he was explaining how the Anglican experience was a comfort to him. You see we live in a Post modern world where there is nothing that remains the same. Everything is self-defined and self-directed. If it feels good do it or buy it or pursue it, which is a constant invisible mantra that we are bombarded with ... To know that one can retreat to the safety of structure, or changeless beauty, and then instead of experiencing stagnation, the miracle happens. It is within the rigid structure that one can engage with the mystical, because the structure creates the safety needed to explore the unknown. I know I can hear the cynics out there arguing that it is also easy to get caught up in the boredom of structure, but maybe this says more about you ...

I found it interesting that the priest was at three different stations during the service. I thought one of them looked like the penalty box in hockey but I don't think that was the reason he sat there. Maybe he didn't want to get in the way of people's experiences of exploring the mystical. I felt myself drawn upwards many times during the service. I think a large part of it was because of the fantastic wooden steep pitched wood lined vaulted ceiling but I have to think that they designed it that way for a purpose. I was also drawn the large wooden cross at the front of the church, although it had a large circle within the intersection which I found interesting. I loved the symbolic shape of the cross. I must admit that I am illiterate at understanding all the layers of symbolism within the Church, although once you let go and relax and allow yourself to engage with the unknown, it takes you on cool Spiritual journey. I believe that too often we try to pigeon hole God into a nice easy formula, so for me not understanding is a bit like my current journey of Spiritual exploration. I remember a fantastic quote, that I think I have shared before but it comes from the book a new kind of Christian. The author suggests that Christianity doesn't own God. Now while he is a pivotal part of the story within Christianity, one must recognize that God has interacted with people of all different faith traditions from the beginning of time. How you understand this interaction might say more about your own beliefs about God, however I think you would all agree that God transcends religion practices.

The sermon was personally very impactful for me. It was on 1 Peter 3:18-22 and Glenn talked about Jesus`s journey in the Wilderness. He suggested that the timing of the events were not random, that Jesus went from being baptised right into being lost and alone ... and subsequently tempted. He discussed how in weakness we become strong, that having margins allows a person to self-reflect and gain perspective on what is important in the universe. While Glenn didn`t focus on the way that Jesus was tempted I can`t help but recall my understanding of other sermons on this topic. One of the temptations had to do with fame and self- importance. I know for myself I have been in the wilderness in one way or another for the past 10 years. While I have experienced some opportunities to be of service to others in a spiritual sense I recognize that my journey is coming to a head. It is really interesting to me that it has taken a personal tragedy, crisis to expand on my crisis of faith, in order to create a new...

stay tuned for the next chapter of my journey.

Timbers: "you can come as you are"

I find it facinating that I have not added to this blog the past year. A lot has transpired within this last year, there has been much grief work and growth and I find that I now have the energy to reengage this journey. I had shared this idea with a friend that had stumbled back into my life. Both of us had history when we were in a married relationship and now were exploring lives apart from our partners. My friend suggested that she is still very much a believer but sometimes she is not on speaking terms with God. I believe that I still hear God's still quiet voice in my circumstances but struggle if my own ego gets in the way of interpretation.

Timbers meets in the playhouse at the junction of hwy 97 and the yellow head. When we walked in we were greeted by gracious older gentleman. I was curious when he shook the hand of my friend but gave the bulletin to me. I can't help but take a feminist interpretation of act, but given the generation gap it doesn't surprise me (and I remind myself that I am not writing this blog to be critical but just include factual observations)

Where do I sit ... How about right in the front! I thought that I would then not be distracted by the other people in the congregation and would have my full attention on the service. Part of me wanted to people watch ... maybe next time. I love Churches in which children wander the isles and explore their surroundings quietly. This was the feeling in this Church as two young children wandered in the front isle during the singing. They were later dismissed after a blessing (another tradition that brings my back to my country church roots)

The worship team was relaxed and consistent with a "seeker friendly flavour" There was a full band and the leading was flexible and spontaneous. At one point the keyboard player came to the mic and disclosed that the worship team was struggling at being together and harmoneous. This intimacy was supported and rewarded by the congregation with a round of applause after the disclosure. "you can come as you are"

One of the announcements really got my attention. A middle aged woman wearing an outfit that I can only describe as a modern day John the baptist came to speak about how she had been invited to do a service for those people staying at Baldy Hughes (a long term residential treatment centre for addictions) She had no helpers at this point and was open to anyone joining her (curious if Myers Briggs would suggest she is an ENFP)

I found the Church to have an American flavour. One of the female pastors, wore a bright red dress with a fashionable red hat and solicited amen's from the crowd as she was going through the Church family news. The guest speaker was from Texas and had a slight accent, although the message was clear and direct. The topic was "the lies that bind" He was a counsellor and described how our actions are in direct response to the thoughts we chose. My friend leaned in and suggested that he was talking about Cognitive Behaviour therapy (CBT for short) within a Spiritual framework. He discussed how you determine lies by studying the truth. The example he gave is how in the treasury department instead of looking at all the different counterfeit bills, they would just study a real bill.

After the service was over the lead pastor came to speak with us. He was very open but not pushy with exploring a relationship with us. He discussed his personal journey on how he came to this congregation and provided some healthy modeling of how this congregation wanted people to come as they are, especially if they are broken and honest in exploring a relationship with one another. His discussion seemed to be consistent with the Church motto of "you can come as you are".

Overall I found this congregation to be friendly, open and honest. It would appear from my impression that they are consistent with living their mission statement and trying to welcome individuals to come as they are, at least from a white middle classed man's point of view.

The well

The Well is an intimate congregation that doesn't own it's own building. In the past, it positioned itself in a well-known intersection at Ospika and 15th, right next to the Lakewood Timmy's, which is where I first noticed the sign. The name and signage appealled to me at a very deep level and I was very curious as to what type of congregation was connected to this church.

Awhile ago, I had a brief conversation with a long-time Prince George friend about the Well. He had attended my previous congregation and we were in the same small group almost 20 years ago.  He stated that the Well was the congregation he was connected to.

Then recently I had a female friend invite me to attend the Well with her, so this past Sunday I hopped in my truck, picked my friend up, and went to the Evangelical Free Church (the Well moved to this new location where it meets in the basement of the building). We had tried to find out when the group meeting started -- a quick internet search was futile so we planned to get there for 16:00 hrs.  We were pleasantly surprised when we showed up 5 minutes late and found that the service didn't actually start until 16:30 hrs, and later we realized that the start time was only a general suggestion. With our gift of 20 minutes, we went to grab a coffee. There were only a few cars in the parking lot and, being new-comers, we didn't want to have to try to fill 1/2 hour of small talk prior to the service starting. I rarely have been in the position of being new to a congregation and the challenge of walking through the doors was a signfiicant hurdle that needed to be overcome to attend the service.

There were refreshments being served in the back and a blue-collared member of the congregation came to meet me almost immediately. I later realized that he was the leader, dressed in New Balance running shoes, black jeans, and a T-shirt with an Orthodox cross in the middle layered with an unbuttoned, collared shirt.  The feel of the group was relaxed informality. Many people were eating and drinking their coffee in their chairs, a totally forbidden sin in some gatherings. I made myself to my seat and started to people watch. A part of the worship group was already at the front of the group playing quietly. The guitar player looked like a biker and sounded like Larry Norman. There was a full electronic drum set as well and I was curious to pick out the drummer. My assumption was a younger male character with a flair for harder rock, so I was surprised when a middle-aged lady who looked more like Mrs. Claus got up and positioned herself behind the set-up. Instead of directing the worship, this group just started to play and facilitated an atmosphere that encouraged people to join in. The songs were unfamiliar to me but simple to follow along as there was much repitition.

We happened to participate on a communion sunday. The leader encouraged everyone to come to the front of the room. (|Apparently it is difficult to remain anonymous here) There was an assumption that everyone was familiar with this tradition and without explaining the process the leader encouraged people to make a commitment statement to the body of Christ. What was facinating to me is that during the discussion it was emphasized many times that this group is a part of the larger body of the Church in Prince George. I felt confirmation that my current journey was very much supported within this body. At no point did this group try to create distance between itself and other gathering of believers; in fact, it was suggested that many attenders also participated in other groups.

There was no offering taken.  The leader had a few notes jotted down on some scraps of paper and his only scripture reference was in electronic format on an IPhone. He quoted from many scriptures, some directly and others by memory. It didn't surprise me that he spoke on the topic of the Holy Spirit and the topic was covered like a shot gun blast, numerous ideas being propelled into the group with the desire that something would hit everyone in the room. There were numerous young children who roamed through the chairs in a free range fashion, at one point cruising right past the leader, who seemed completely unphased.

The talk ended, there was a short song and people mulled around. It appeared that no one was in a hurry to leave and most just visited and got reacquainted with those they didn't have time to talk to at the beginning of the service.