I think this explains in visual format what I want to avoid focusing on in this blog. You see many of us look for excuses of why we don't belong to a particular spiritual community ... or why we choose a particular spiritual community. Maybe we need to recognize that we are just called to community and practice our faith moment by moment ...

A is for Anglican: the journey continues

I have been leaving it open to the universe to see when it makes sense for me to attend another Church. A good friend of mine Lauren dropped by my office the other day and told me that I needed to meet the new priest at the Anglican Church, she thought we had a lot in common. Anyone who really knows me might be curious about this statement as was I. Instead of overthinking the question I decided that this would be my next experience, so I agreed to attend Church the next Sunday.

I woke up that Sunday very curious but a bit jumbled in my head. I did some self-reflecting and realized that I had not done my walk in about 10 days due to the fact I had just taught an intensive course at UNBC on trauma the last week and did my normal Saturday 12 hour shift the day before. I decided that the walk was the first thing on my agenda. On my journey I was able to organize many of the jumbled thoughts running around in my head. I did spend a few minutes reflecting on the Anglican tradition. I have a good friend (that I don't get to see often) who has recently left the Anglican priesthood. I have not had the opportunity to discuss this situation with him personally, although I have read some of his personal reflections on his Facebook. One of the struggles that he mentioned is the diverse demands that are placed on a priest in today`s world. You have to be the caretaker and fixer upper of the church, a counsellor, a baker, a butcher and a candlestick maker .... I know I am just being a bit silly, but you get the picture.

I arrived at the Church and tried to open the big wooden door ... locked.  Hmmm that is strange. There was a side door with the church office sign, so I went in that door instead. I walked into a large community hall like space with several grey hairs mulling around. I guess I should watch my words since I know I have lots of gray hairs these days but my thinking is, if you don't own a mirror and look in it maybe it won't be true. (same thought as if I tree falls in a forest ...) I later reflected on this fact with my friend and asked her what would happen when all the gray hair's go to the "spirit in the sky"? She excitedly told me that she believes that we are on the cusp of a resurgence where people will realize how shallow the new age belief system is, and desire the structure that a traditional Church provides. I find this passion odd since if you know anything about my friend Lauren a traditionalist she is not ... but that is her story to share not mine. I did ask her to provide me with feedback and this is what she shared with me: 

"I see people malnourished from the New Age movement, and I believe we will see a resurgence in traditional religions of all kinds. The New Age movement is like a college survey course—a shallow overview of spirituality and religion—with a self-centering around middle-class, European people of privilege picking what they find comfortable from an international smorgasbord of spirituality.

As we become more experienced in the world, or if we have the experience of being “other” (indiginous, empoverished, traumatized, feminist, on so on), we look for a faith that includes everyone. We have a spiritual hunger that spills out of our own narrow personal boundaries, a hunger that looks not only to feed the self, but to care for our communities. We turn from only meeting individual spiritual need in isolation to looking to commit to a community with its beauty and perils.

The Anglican, United, Presbyterian and Lutheran churches in northern BC are unique in having a deep grounding in tradition while finding a balanced post-modern liberalism. This next decade in the “mainline”churches is an exciting one. We are negotiating new ways of being church. We want to include our beloved traditional elders and at the same time, find ways of being inclusive to everyone who comes in the doors." (now you know why I just quoted her and didn't try to paraphrase her)

I remember a friend telling me about their visit to a traditional Liturgy church where you can get stressed figuring out whether to stand or sit and which book to read and when, and what parts to skip and which verses of the hymn you sing and such. Fortunately I had a guide although I must admit I laughed out loud when even she got mixed up at several parts during the service.

I reflected on this highly structured service and asked myself what purpose does it serve You see within my Protestant background their service appears to be much more spontaneous and flowing. I think back to many discussions that I had with my friend Neil when he was explaining how the Anglican experience was a comfort to him. You see we live in a Post modern world where there is nothing that remains the same. Everything is self-defined and self-directed. If it feels good do it or buy it or pursue it, which is a constant invisible mantra that we are bombarded with ... To know that one can retreat to the safety of structure, or changeless beauty, and then instead of experiencing stagnation, the miracle happens. It is within the rigid structure that one can engage with the mystical, because the structure creates the safety needed to explore the unknown. I know I can hear the cynics out there arguing that it is also easy to get caught up in the boredom of structure, but maybe this says more about you ...

I found it interesting that the priest was at three different stations during the service. I thought one of them looked like the penalty box in hockey but I don't think that was the reason he sat there. Maybe he didn't want to get in the way of people's experiences of exploring the mystical. I felt myself drawn upwards many times during the service. I think a large part of it was because of the fantastic wooden steep pitched wood lined vaulted ceiling but I have to think that they designed it that way for a purpose. I was also drawn the large wooden cross at the front of the church, although it had a large circle within the intersection which I found interesting. I loved the symbolic shape of the cross. I must admit that I am illiterate at understanding all the layers of symbolism within the Church, although once you let go and relax and allow yourself to engage with the unknown, it takes you on cool Spiritual journey. I believe that too often we try to pigeon hole God into a nice easy formula, so for me not understanding is a bit like my current journey of Spiritual exploration. I remember a fantastic quote, that I think I have shared before but it comes from the book a new kind of Christian. The author suggests that Christianity doesn't own God. Now while he is a pivotal part of the story within Christianity, one must recognize that God has interacted with people of all different faith traditions from the beginning of time. How you understand this interaction might say more about your own beliefs about God, however I think you would all agree that God transcends religion practices.

The sermon was personally very impactful for me. It was on 1 Peter 3:18-22 and Glenn talked about Jesus`s journey in the Wilderness. He suggested that the timing of the events were not random, that Jesus went from being baptised right into being lost and alone ... and subsequently tempted. He discussed how in weakness we become strong, that having margins allows a person to self-reflect and gain perspective on what is important in the universe. While Glenn didn`t focus on the way that Jesus was tempted I can`t help but recall my understanding of other sermons on this topic. One of the temptations had to do with fame and self- importance. I know for myself I have been in the wilderness in one way or another for the past 10 years. While I have experienced some opportunities to be of service to others in a spiritual sense I recognize that my journey is coming to a head. It is really interesting to me that it has taken a personal tragedy, crisis to expand on my crisis of faith, in order to create a new...

stay tuned for the next chapter of my journey.

Timbers: "you can come as you are"

I find it facinating that I have not added to this blog the past year. A lot has transpired within this last year, there has been much grief work and growth and I find that I now have the energy to reengage this journey. I had shared this idea with a friend that had stumbled back into my life. Both of us had history when we were in a married relationship and now were exploring lives apart from our partners. My friend suggested that she is still very much a believer but sometimes she is not on speaking terms with God. I believe that I still hear God's still quiet voice in my circumstances but struggle if my own ego gets in the way of interpretation.

Timbers meets in the playhouse at the junction of hwy 97 and the yellow head. When we walked in we were greeted by gracious older gentleman. I was curious when he shook the hand of my friend but gave the bulletin to me. I can't help but take a feminist interpretation of act, but given the generation gap it doesn't surprise me (and I remind myself that I am not writing this blog to be critical but just include factual observations)

Where do I sit ... How about right in the front! I thought that I would then not be distracted by the other people in the congregation and would have my full attention on the service. Part of me wanted to people watch ... maybe next time. I love Churches in which children wander the isles and explore their surroundings quietly. This was the feeling in this Church as two young children wandered in the front isle during the singing. They were later dismissed after a blessing (another tradition that brings my back to my country church roots)

The worship team was relaxed and consistent with a "seeker friendly flavour" There was a full band and the leading was flexible and spontaneous. At one point the keyboard player came to the mic and disclosed that the worship team was struggling at being together and harmoneous. This intimacy was supported and rewarded by the congregation with a round of applause after the disclosure. "you can come as you are"

One of the announcements really got my attention. A middle aged woman wearing an outfit that I can only describe as a modern day John the baptist came to speak about how she had been invited to do a service for those people staying at Baldy Hughes (a long term residential treatment centre for addictions) She had no helpers at this point and was open to anyone joining her (curious if Myers Briggs would suggest she is an ENFP)

I found the Church to have an American flavour. One of the female pastors, wore a bright red dress with a fashionable red hat and solicited amen's from the crowd as she was going through the Church family news. The guest speaker was from Texas and had a slight accent, although the message was clear and direct. The topic was "the lies that bind" He was a counsellor and described how our actions are in direct response to the thoughts we chose. My friend leaned in and suggested that he was talking about Cognitive Behaviour therapy (CBT for short) within a Spiritual framework. He discussed how you determine lies by studying the truth. The example he gave is how in the treasury department instead of looking at all the different counterfeit bills, they would just study a real bill.

After the service was over the lead pastor came to speak with us. He was very open but not pushy with exploring a relationship with us. He discussed his personal journey on how he came to this congregation and provided some healthy modeling of how this congregation wanted people to come as they are, especially if they are broken and honest in exploring a relationship with one another. His discussion seemed to be consistent with the Church motto of "you can come as you are".

Overall I found this congregation to be friendly, open and honest. It would appear from my impression that they are consistent with living their mission statement and trying to welcome individuals to come as they are, at least from a white middle classed man's point of view.